U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
