fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize