dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
