i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
