We won't sleep together?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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