he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
