i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
