I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
