Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
