I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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