dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize