That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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