my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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