I think i sorta joined a cult last night
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
