Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
