it's like iHOP with fire
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
