Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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