I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
