nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
