ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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