My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
false alarm, still single
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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