hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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