There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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