I'm going to rape someone's good day.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
