I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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