went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
