No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
