oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
