have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
