Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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