Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
