My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think people are normalizing furries
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