Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
