Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
