Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
