Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
