A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
