i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My penis needs a shock collar
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
