cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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