i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize