So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
