i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
