What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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