i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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