so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize