IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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