im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
