how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
