I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
They have beer where we have blood.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
