She said her name was "party"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
