I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Did we literally take a cab across the street
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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