Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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