paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
