You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
