She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
NoShamevember. You game?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
