We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
