it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
