Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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