We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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