so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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