Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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