on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
