Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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