he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
