Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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