I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
