Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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