Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
