AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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