:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
